Friday, October 28, 2011

My god, the 90s were just a fashion abortion, weren't they?
Asian Waldo talks to Asian nun while country/techno/funk music plays in the background: ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Every "club" rap song has about 5 seconds in the beginning where it sounds like it's going to be awesome... And then it all goes to hell.
I have witnessed a bellydance choreography for "Living Dead Girl," by Rob Zombie. ACHIEVMENT UNLOCKED

Monday, September 19, 2011

I am going to become so pro life that I believe you shouldn't even kill the idea of a person. I'll believe life begins at inception BWAAAAAAAAAAAA

Thursday, August 25, 2011

There's a ballet supplies brand called "Gaynor Minden?" How did the late-night comedy shows miss this?

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

{From a few old pieces of paper}

[Mark sits at a cubicle with a computer in front of him, wearing a headset. He's in a t-shirt with a popular video game logo on it, such as a "For the Horde!" shirt. He's bored. A soft "dialing" tone plays in the background]

[A click signifies a pickup on the other end. Mark sits up a little]

Mark: Hello, my name is Mark. I'm a research associate with TSCH, a national research firm. We're conducting a survey with people in your area on behalf of the Department of Health. Could I please speak with a resident of the household 18 years of age or older.

[Cut to a man in his mid forties, sitting in a recliner with a bowl of chips and a bottle of beer, holding a telephone. He's angry.]

Man: Are you a telemarketer?

Mark [On phone]: No, sir. I'm a research associate. I'm not trying to sell you anything.

Man: I'm on the "DO-NOT-CALL" list.

Mark: [rushing] Sir, the "Do-not-call" list applies to telemarketers, people trying to sell you things. We're -

Man [interrupting]: Well, FUCK you! [slams phone down]

[Cheerful, bouncy music begins in the background]

(A montage of Mark at work, calling people)

Mark: Hello, my name is Mark. I'm a-

[click, he's hung up on]

Mark: research...

-

Mark: [frustrated] The Department of Health. Yes, the Department of Health. I can provide you with a confirmation [click] number...

-

Mark: TSCH - it stands for the letters of the last names of our founders. [listens] What? [listens] They've got very long last names...um... Travinisky? Tarivish? Tarinvinsk?

-

Mark: Can I speak with an adult 18 years of age or older?

Old woman [on phone]: But I'm 76.

Mark: So...you're older than 18?

Old woman: No, I'm 76. I don't work for the Department of Health.

Mark: I know, ma'am, I'm calling on behalf of the Department of Health.

Old woman: Who is this?

Mark: [exasperated] My name is Mark, and I'm calling on behalf of -

Old woman: Well, Matthew, I think you should know, I'm a 76 year old woman with 4 grandchildren and 5 cats and I just don't approve of this.

Mark: Well, ma'am -

Old woman: Goodbye, John [click].

-

Mark: Hello, my name is [click] -

-

Mark: Hello, my name is Mark. I'm [click] -

-

Mark: Hello, my name is Mark. I'm calling -

Woman's voice: [like an answering machine] I'm sorry, no one is available to take your [sneeze].

Mark: [confused] Ma'am?

Woman: Oh, shit [click].

-

Mark: Hi, my name is Mark, and I'm calling on -

Man: Mark, you said?

Mark: Yes, sir.

Man: Mark, can you see me right now?

Mark: No, sir. All our numbers are randomly generated by computer. All know about you is your phone number.

Man: Mark, I really with your could see me right now.

[Mark pauses uncomfortably]

Man: Because I'm flipping you off [click].

-

Woman: ...but I don't know if I should count my daughter as a resident, because she goes to college.

Man: Does she live in the household?

Woman: Well, yes, but she drives to the community college down the street.

Mark: But she lives in the household?

Woman: Yes, but she's a very independent woman.

-

Mark: Hello, my name is Mark. I'm calling on behalf of the Department of Health -

Man: Is this in regards to the deceased?

Mark: Um...we're just trying to speak with a resident of the household.

Man: Is this in regards to the deceased? the body should have been removed hours ago.

-

Mark: Hello, my name is Mark. I'm calling on behalf of the Department of Health.

Woman: [furious] Listen, stop calling, leave me alone, take my number off your list -

Mark: Ma'am, we don't have a "list," all of our numbers are randomly generated by -

Woman: I don't CARE how you got my number! Stop calling me! Stop calling me! STOP CALLING ME [click]!

[Mark begins typing on the computer, sighing and shaking his head]

[click]

Same woman: Hello, who is this?

Mark: Still me, ma'am.

Woman: [politely] Oh. goodnight.

Mark: You too, ma'am [click].

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Saturday, August 20, 2011

"Did you just quote 'The Bells' by Edgar Allen Poe?" "No...'How the Grinch Stole Christmas.'"

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Arcade game of Virtual Cop. Childhood memories come flooding back.
Prequel to the Final Destination movie: "Pentimate Destination." It's just a bunch of people eating at Denny's.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Monday, August 1, 2011

Found a piece of paper inside a book I was reading back in December. On it was a drawing of a Christmas tree with different decorations labeled. It read:

"Simple Pleasures" presents: "How to Have a 'Bright Eyes' Christmas"

-Fallen star
-Dying tree, separated and alone (alternatively, a plastic mockery of life)
-Flickering, pitiful lights, never able to truly fight the darkness
-Fragile, transient ornaments
-Milk and cookies for the lies your parents told you
-Present for the only girl you ever loved who left you forever
-Cold (like your heart)
-Music, either Christmas carols or Johnny cash singing "Hurt."
-Alcohol

On the same piece of paper, the beginning of a story: "He bought a book because the cover reminded him of a song he liked and immediately forgot about it."

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

I never realized how much Good News for People Who Like Bad News was an "eff you God" album until now.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Greatest country song ever made: "I Had My Heart Set on the Rabbi."

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

I hear people used to cook and eat flowers. Sounds stupid... Why grilled the lilly

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Luke's better judgment: "You've got work in the morning. You have to get up ea-" Luke's emotional response: "HARRYEFFINGPOTTERMOTHEREFFERS!"
Luke's better judgment: "You've got work in the morning. You have to get up ea-" Luke's emotional response: "HARRYEFFINGPOTTERMOTHEREFFERS!"

Thursday, June 16, 2011

The correct collective noun for 2-5 nerds is a "party." For 6-40 nerds, use "raid." For more than 40 nerds, use "convention."
Idea for a story of some kind: An astute necromancer/dark lord realizes that the majority of battles are won by the cuter army, not the stronger one, and begins changing his army thusly. "Next, skeletons: I need you all to pretend you're French. This makes it MUCH easier to make jokes like 'bon ami' and 'bon apetite.'"
Getting ready in the morning. Looked at the tag on my underwear: "DO NOT SET ON FIRE!" Is that normally a problem? "New pair of underpants, test #7: Flame Resistance."

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

So I've recently been signing petitions and writing my representatives in congress about topics that interest me, and I actually got a form letter back from my senator.

It's not much, but it's nice to know someone in his office will probably read it.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Phrase to describe something eerie/creepy: "Not an owl." Example: "'The shadow from that tree looks like a monster!' 'Yeah, that is not an owl.'"

Friday, June 10, 2011

STOP HIM! THAT MADMAN POISONING THE WORLD'S CIANIDE SUPPLY!

Thursday, June 9, 2011

How's this for a euphamism:?"Mother of ducks."
I think the next constitutional ammendment should restrict members of the house to no more than 2 consecutive terms in office.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Watching a cop drama with my parents. I can't read any of the characters or musical cues. It's like watching a foreign comedy or reading a literally translated novel.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

I just saw a lady in the craziest outfit I have seen in my life. She was a portly woman, with bright red hair styled into peaks like Dilbert's boss', red lipstick with no other make-up, and a pink shirt with a pattern of what I think was tropical fruit. I only saw her for a fleeting instant.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

If you want to weep about the monster that is humanity, try the movie "Majority of One."
I just popped a bump on my head. I hope this doesn't mess up my phrenology exam later today.
Man triumphs over scanner once again!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

My final song: "Be Calm," by fun. My final words on Doom and Cookies: "Don't panic."
Playing my penultimate song on the radio. I'm going to miss Doom and Cookies. The song is "Bringing the Body Back Home," by the Real Tuesday Weld.
How come in the X-Files, the entire country is a five-minute drive from Washington, D.C.?

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Ah, the stale scent of alcohol and tobacco: The smell of a coworker.
They put me in training at 9pm when I'm only dialing till 10pm. GLORIOUS.
Doing my last episode of Doom and Cookies tomorrow. Calling it The Omega Protocol.
I wonder if all workplaces with high turnover are like this; always new people, but always the same TYPE of people.
I was about to get dinner on during my break at work; then I realized it looked like a natural disaster movie outside.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Metroid Other M: AKA Bounty Hunter Mama
"There are no stupid questions, just stupid answer" - Fortune Cookie slip I just found in my wallet.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

"How did the tiger get all the way across town without being spotted?" "Because it was striped!"

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

In the minutes of a demon-worshipping school board meeting: "Next, we need more promotion of abstinence-only sex education." "Wait, what?" "Reverse psychology, Ed."
Aaaaaand Ariane and I both get sick. At least it waited until my finals were over.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Friday, April 29, 2011

We now have so much food, but WHY DID I GET PENUT BUTTER?!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Inside a building fancier than I thought was legal in Huntington.
When "Dirty Bit" gets stuck in your head, it gets stuck in your head BAD. 'CAUSE I'M - HAVING - A GOOD - TIME - WITH YOU - I'M TELLING YOU - I I I'm having the time of my liiiiiiife...

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

At an "African Music" event. It's whiter than NPR times Starbucks.
At an "African Music" event. It's whiter than NPR times Starbucks.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Watching old episodes of X-Files will do weird things to you. That's all I can say in my defense.
"It turns out the mysterious substance you wanted the lab to examine was primate feces and urine." "Monkey pee, monkey doo."

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Nosebleeds are the least badass reason to be covered in blood. OK, maybe giving yourself a paper cut with a Magic the Gathering card would be worse.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

"That's the saddest face I've ever heard." WITNESS MY MASTERY OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

I'm slowly learning the names of animals in French. So far I've got "Le Sange" and "Le Hippopotam."
Peaches are among the most passionate of nature's bounty...they would have named them "passion fruits" if the name wasn't already taken.
Next on the A-Team Cooking Show: Puddings! "I love it when a flan comes together."

Friday, April 15, 2011

Aaaaaaaand white trash cat fight. If someone breaks a bottle and uses it as a weapon, my "Country Bar Bingo" will be complete!
"We've got that guy who played Boromir signed on..." "Add midgets and you've got yourself a show!" The story behind "Game of Thrones."
I need to go to fewer gay bars. I was honestly surprised when this place had shooter girls instead of shooter boys.
Cow seat covers, a mechanical bull, AND stock car racing on TV? This place has everything!
You know the bar you're in has shitty music when the song you get most excited about is "Tik Tok" by Ke$ha.
Next, on the Discovery Channel: The mating ritual of the North American Douchebag

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

What do you call a cigar-chomping Argentinian cowboy comedian? Gaucho Marx!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Tentative title for Doom and Cookies next week: "Fahrenheit 350 for 20 Minutes or Until Golden-Brown."
This fall, "The WWE soap opera that will pile-driver its way into your heart: The Young and the Wrestlers."
Ah, 6 hours dialing telephone surveys. That's about 27.7 repetition of Weird Al's "Albuquerque" in your head while trying to read a book for school.
I'm going to go punch the weatherman. Flurries? Still?

Monday, April 11, 2011

The only thing group projects have taught me is that if you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself.

Monday, March 28, 2011

To write about: I miss Blood Nexus.
Walking home from DJ shift. Banana peel on ground. Massive urge to comically slip and fall.
It is OK to refer to the automatic DJ system as "Our robot overlords," right?

Sunday, March 20, 2011

"I think someone has been following my dog." "Your dog? How do you know?" "He has a tail!"
So with the success of Brittany Spears' "Hold it Against Me," I fully expect other pop artists to use dumb puns in their titles. Prepare for Lady Gaga's "My Dog Has No Nose" and Justin Bieber's "How Do You Stop a Rhino from Charging? (Take Away His Credit Card )ft. Ludacris."

Saturday, March 19, 2011

If you're not familiar with Rebecca Black's song "Friday," it's a horrible inane, but (mark this) purely factual song. I see a good career for her in children's music: "This month is Ju-ly, Ju-ly, Ju-ly. Next month is Au-gust, Au-gust, Au-gust. The month after that is Septem-ber..."
I'm having such a hard time sitting down and writing. I'm just going to text-blog ideas as I have them.
You know what they say about men with big glasses: Bad eyes.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Standing in a mosque as a small child keepings opening and closing the curtain that separates the men and the women. Symbolism whaaaaaat.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

A continuation

CLIFFHANGER: My thought at the time was that it would be cool to compare stories and myths from agrarian societies and contrast them with industrial-era entertainment, to see if Gellner's assertions that pre-industrial societies were conserving and post-industrial societies are socially mobile would be reflected in their myths and media.

When I told my professor my idea after class, he was interested, but thought that actually finding agrarian-era myths that haven't been filtered and reinterpreted for hundreds of years would be next to impossible. It was a valiant effort, though.

ON ANOTHER TOPIC: I'm less than enthusiastic about my ethics class, mostly because the professor is a self-proclaimed Marxist and (at the same time) a Christian.

I have a hard time picking out which aspect bothers me more.

Certainly I have a problem with him saying it's morally reprehensible for people to make money. It's hard to articulate how sincerely he believes that a human being with money is inherently in the wrong, simply because money is only there to be given to others.

With further thought, I don't think it's the fact that he is a Christian that bothers me, but the kind of Christian that he is. He's the sort of person who pushes as close to the line as he can get spreading a worldview that most of his peers would be hostile to, which I have to respect him for. I feel like I very much could have ended up where he is, a teacher willing do everything legally possible to get his faith and his message out.

The problem is, while he says he's not trying to push his ideas on you, gives "alternative" points of view, he gives the same straw-man arguments for things like evolution and atheism I heard in school. Instead of advancing a debate, he describes to parties that have already fought to a standstill.

There's a reason the fight over intelligent design/evolution is fought most viciously over what's taught in schools: There isn't much turn over; people are indoctrinated to one - actually, inoculated against one, and then are blind to argument.

Another professor described it best when he said that there is no evolution "debate": Both sides repeat the same hackneyed proofs, make the same points, win the same rounds of applause from their own sides, and nothing ever gets serious consideration or though applied to it.

I personally don't know where I stand on the issue. I've tried researching both sides, and what it comes down to is that neither of them have proved their hypothesis.

In the end, it works out like this:

Point to creationists: Evolution is nowhere near proven.

Point to evolutionists: It's the best theory for a presumed natural world we've got so far.

Monday, January 31, 2011

400 Words NOW #2

So I'm taking an anthropology course called National Identity, which is interesting, and not only because the nationality of the man teaching it is still unclear (Polish? Swedish? Danish?).

I was interested in the topic of national identity for reasons I won't go into now.

FLASHBACK: In an intro to something-or-other class early in my Marshall career, I had a very interesting professor who completely understood that the majority of his students didn't care about him or the topic he was covering, and stuffed the class-time full of mindblowing information with very simple take-home messages for the test.

One of these messages that we only spent about a day on was that a nation is not the same thing as a state. As defined by him, loosely, a nation is a group of people and a state is a political boundary, and many of the problems in the world today stem from the fact that political lines do not (and probably cannot) give each nation its own state.

Suddenly, a whole mess of things started making sense: Jews (including modern Israel and the Holocaust), Chechnya, Canada (and Quebec), Scotland (and Wales, and Ireland), the intifada in France, China (and Tibet, and Taiwan), etc. etc. Across the world, and across time, there have been hundreds and thousands of different peoples and millions of different lines drawn on maps and what we have today is a bizarre mash of treaties, threats, conquests, compromises, stagnation, trade and what have you.

FLASH FORWARD:

Where was I? Oh, yes, national identity. So the first book we've read on national identity goes into great detail about how thinking about people as nations with a shared mindset, habits, etc. didn't come about until the industrial era, and sees it as completely linked with capitalism, state education and a number of other things.

He links these things together, I'm told, because he's a structural-functionalist, which are something like the Mac users of the anthropology word. Or maybe the circular reasoning aficionados. Or the eternal optimists. Basically, they study the way things are set up and then proclaim that they work because they were set up properly. Structural-functionalism went out of style about 50 years ago, which brings up the question of why we were reading the book, which is a fascinating answer in and of itself

SEGUE: Gellner, the author of our book, describes many differences between agrarian and industrial societies, but one that I'd like to speak about briefly is that agrarian societies emphasize social stability, while industrial societies prize social mobility; the good of the group versus the needs of the individual. Of course, there are thousands of paradoxes and details, but the point normally remains the same.

SEGUE: I was watching a Russian version of the Little Mermaid last night with my girlfriend and a Turkish friend of ours, and we talked about how stories and entertainment reflect these attitudes, because the Russian version is the sad one, in which the titular character is turned into foam because the prince marries another.

CLIFFHANGER:

400 Words NOW

I haven't published since the 26th? I knew I had missed a few posts, but nothing like that. I consoled myself, saying that I'd do a double-post to catch up, but apparently I'll need to do a series of double or triple posts to get back to 400 words a day.

So as punishment - no, as restitution, here's at least 400 words.

I needed another class for this semester, and I was already taking all the journalism courses I could, so I looked through the online courses and found one on the modern Middle East. It looked interesting and relevant, so I signed up.

Today, I finally woke up and realized what's going on in Tunisia and Egypt. There is full scale, people-burning-themselves, flipping-over-police-cars, tear-gas-rioting for the downfall of tyrants and I cannot for the life of me understand why I didn't hear about this earlier.

In my journalism ethics course, we did a quick and dirty overview several major world religions and their implications on ethical decision-making. I was somewhat upset with the professor's treatment of Judaism and Christianity (as well as Atheism), but I realized I didn't know enough about Islam to comment on his portrayal.

Note to self: Read the Koran.

So, I got distracted as soon as I wrote those words and went off looking for a translation of the Koran I could download onto my Nook. Though I immediately found several translations on Project Gutenberg, I suddenly realized that I knew nothing about the people who translated them, and my own experiences with the Bible (and anime, and news) have taught me that who is doing the translations and why can very much impact the final product.

The two versions of the Koran that I can find easily are J. M. Rodwell's and George Sale's, neither of which seems to have much of a following in Muslim circle, despite being easy to find. At worst, Sale's translation was made intentionally to discredit Muslims and both have serious omissions and distortions, from what half an hour of research can tell me.

In the end, I think I'm going to track down of copy of Marmaduke Pickthall's translation. His work seems to be the most widely accredited, and several other good translation have been based on his. I found a text version, but that won't serve me well on a Nook, now would it?

Which brings me back to the point of this whole rant: I personally don't know enough about Islam and the Muslim world, and I intend to change that.

For my next 400 words, I'll probably discuss what's going on in my national identity class.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

American Gods

So a while back I had an idea for a story in which all the gods of mythology really existed and were engaged in a power struggle set in the modern world.

I told this idea to a friend while driving in his car one day.

"It's already been done. American Gods. Neil Gaiman," he said.

I was quite let down.

Halfheartedly, I took it out of the library and read about a quarter of it. I appreciated what I read as excellent writing and a far more mature and powerful version of what I had planned. It quashed my desire to write that story, and to write any story at all for some time.

Since then, I've come to understand that all the stories that can ever be told have already been done. Everything that you've ever seen is a copy of something from 20-50 years ago, which is a copy of something 50-100 years ago, which was a parody of something 150-500 years ago, going all the way back to the dawn of man. Even then, the stories that they told were the reflections of archetypes they observed and believed, already shown before them in nature.

The goal of the writer (or other creative type) is to take these core images, goals, beliefs, archetypes and experiences and reassemble them in a fresh way to society.

So with that in mind, I'm reading/rereading American Gods and am slightly past the point that I stopped at before. I'll find out how similar my idea really is to his.

Of course, it's been about two and a half year since I first starting reading the book, and my own idea has evolved significantly.

In the original idea, the gods evolved and changed with time - morphing, splitting, growing - and that the current lack of divine intervention in the world was due to a war in the heavens that left Zeus abdicating his throne and no clear leadership among the gods. A young Dionysus, manifested as a woman, was seeking unite enough of the gods together to claim the vacant seat on Mount Olympus.

Or something like that.

The most recent versions of the story focus on a man named Sid who gets caught up in a war of the gods.

SPOILER ALERT

So I took a Buddhism class, the idea that challenged and inspired me most was Siddhartha Gautama's idea that gods, spirits and the like existed but didn't matter; what was most important was each individual's personal attainment of enlightenment.

Furthermore, he set forth that all living creatures needed to attain salvation and nirvana, but that human beings here had an advantage over the gods. Human beings are in the stage of their existence where enlightenment can most easily be reached; humans are intelligent enough to understand their situation, unlike animals, but fragile enough to be acutely aware of the inevitability of death. Gods, with their long life-spans and immense power, find it hard to humble themselves and face their weakness.

The idea that even the gods need salvation is the foundation of the most recent incarnations (if you'll pardon the pun) of my story.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

A few thoughts on music

ON A SERIOUS NOTE:

I used music to define who I was for most of my high school and early college life. It wasn't just that I listened to songs and appreciated them, I found songs that, at least for a moment, completely summed up my beliefs. Laugh if you might, but I physical shook with emotion when I heard songs like "Disenchanted" by My Chemical Romance or "Illusion" by VNV Nation.

The problem is that a song never changes, but a human being, particularly a young adult, changes constantly. I found myself actively avoiding change when it clashed with the scriptures of my music. Alternatively, I tried to change myself to better understand lyrics that I loved but couldn't yet relate with.

Now, it's rare that I find an album that moves me.

ON A LESS SERIOUS NOTE:

I listen to parodies and remixes far more than can be good for me. Maybe it was an early introduction to Weird Al or my family's love for Zucker films, but nothing is funnier to me than a redo with a silly twist.

In fact, I often see parody as the higher form of art than the original, because a good parody is not merely a copy or a mockery: It captures the heart of the initial creation, while also building and expanding upon it.

ON A RELATED TOPIC:

A friend of mine is letting me rip a compilation that's basically a brief history of gothic music, Joy Division to Skinny Puppy, The Cure to AFI. It's amazing how many of the songs I've heard covers of (such as Kerli's version of "She's in Parties," by Bauhaus) or seen as an explanation of how a band I like sounds ("They sound sort of like if Clan of Xymox and Dead Can Dance played in a cover band of the Misfits, with vocals by Cocteau Twins").

I like to be reminded every now and then that everything has been done before, but never quite exactly the same way.

More on that later.

ON A SOMEWHAT PERVERSE NOTE:

Entertainment is mostly a spectrum of sex and violence. On the one end, you'll find something like One Hundred and One Dalmatians. In includes the birth of puppies (and, by definition, copulation), two human beings falling in love, the threatened death and skinning of the dogs and plenty of slapstick humor. On the other end of the spectrum lies hardcore pornography and graphic, senseless depictions of death and torture.

I used to joke that taste was the main consideration for why people watched one and not the other. As society became increasingly lax about explicit content and entertainers tried to top each other's attempts to shock viewers, I said, pop culture would eventually fall into a "pornography singularity" where the only entertainment produced would be obscenity interspersed with Coca-Cola ads.

"Ha ha ha," people would say.

BUT THEN:

Have you actually seen the video for Lady Gaga's "Alejandro" or Christina Aguilera's "Not Myself Tonight"?

It's not funny anymore; it's true.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Things to write about:

Hunger
Sadness
Protection/mothering
Luck
Magic/electricity

400 Words Now

Why am I starting a blog where I write 400 words a day?

Well, there's a number of reasons.

1. I need to write more.

I often say that I'm a writer or that I'm going into the field of journalism because I enjoy writing, but the truth of the matter is that I don't write much. Sure, I think about things to write about, I plan stories and I read other's works - but I don't take the time to actually bang out words on a screen enough.

If I want to get better, if I want to become a writer, I have to write. It's like calling myself an astronaut without ever getting on a space shuttle or calling myself a chef without ever cooking.

2. I want to create in a community.

I’ve become aware that all art and all creativity happens when people get together.
C.S. Lewis, one of my absolute favorite writers, met with other writers in a group called the “Inklings.”

Michael Card, one of my favorite artists, released a live album called “Scribbling in the Sand,” where he details how his songs came to be. None of them happened in a vacuum; all of them were the result of relationships and interactions.

I need to open my creative works to critique, examination and improvement.

3. I want to give myself specific goals for writing.

I picked the goal of 400 words a day from an anecdote about either Neil Gaiman or Terry Pratchet (probably from the introduction to the novel they co-wrote, Good Omens) that one of them at least wrote 400 words a day, every day. The story goes on that one of them finished a novel with 200 words to go, so they picked up a sheet of paper and wrote the first 200 words of the next story.

It’s a good story, and a good goal.

If for some reason, I’m unable to post, I will still write said 400 words and post them as soon as possible.

4. I write best when I’m forced to.

Well, maybe not forced to, but when I have some structure.

When someone says, “Write! Be creative!” I’m left drawing blanks.

When someone says “Write about spies! Write a poem! Write a historical comedy about poets who are also spies in 19th Century Great Britian!” I’m inspired.

So to that end, I will accept ideas from you, the reader, about things I should write about.

But whatever the topic, it’s 400 words a day, every day.