We now have so much food, but WHY DID I GET PENUT BUTTER?!

Inside a building fancier than I thought was legal in Huntington.

When "Dirty Bit" gets stuck in your head, it gets stuck in your head BAD. 'CAUSE I'M - HAVING - A GOOD - TIME - WITH YOU - I'M TELLING YOU - I I I'm having the time of my liiiiiiife...

At an "African Music" event. It's whiter than NPR times Starbucks.

At an "African Music" event. It's whiter than NPR times Starbucks.

"He is risen" or "I want to believe"?

Watching old episodes of X-Files will do weird things to you. That's all I can say in my defense.

"It turns out the mysterious substance you wanted the lab to examine was primate feces and urine." "Monkey pee, monkey doo."

Nosebleeds are the least badass reason to be covered in blood. OK, maybe giving yourself a paper cut with a Magic the Gathering card would be worse.

"That's the saddest face I've ever heard." WITNESS MY MASTERY OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.

I'm slowly learning the names of animals in French. So far I've got "Le Sange" and "Le Hippopotam."

Peaches are among the most passionate of nature's bounty...they would have named them "passion fruits" if the name wasn't already taken.

Next on the A-Team Cooking Show: Puddings! "I love it when a flan comes together."

Aaaaaaaand white trash cat fight. If someone breaks a bottle and uses it as a weapon, my "Country Bar Bingo" will be complete!

"We've got that guy who played Boromir signed on..." "Add midgets and you've got yourself a show!" The story behind "Game of Thrones."

I need to go to fewer gay bars. I was honestly surprised when this place had shooter girls instead of shooter boys.

Cow seat covers, a mechanical bull, AND stock car racing on TV? This place has everything!

You know the bar you're in has shitty music when the song you get most excited about is "Tik Tok" by Ke$ha.

Next, on the Discovery Channel: The mating ritual of the North American Douchebag

What do you call a cigar-chomping Argentinian cowboy comedian? Gaucho Marx!

Tentative title for Doom and Cookies next week: "Fahrenheit 350 for 20 Minutes or Until Golden-Brown."

This fall, "The WWE soap opera that will pile-driver its way into your heart: The Young and the Wrestlers."

Ah, 6 hours dialing telephone surveys. That's about 27.7 repetition of Weird Al's "Albuquerque" in your head while trying to read a book for school.

I'm going to go punch the weatherman. Flurries? Still?

The only thing group projects have taught me is that if you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself.