I just saw a lady in the craziest outfit I have seen in my life. She was a portly woman, with bright red hair styled into peaks like Dilbert's boss', red lipstick with no other make-up, and a pink shirt with a pattern of what I think was tropical fruit. I only saw her for a fleeting instant.

If you want to weep about the monster that is humanity, try the movie "Majority of One."

I just popped a bump on my head. I hope this doesn't mess up my phrenology exam later today.

Man triumphs over scanner once again!

No man knows the day or hour...bitches.

My final song: "Be Calm," by fun. My final words on Doom and Cookies: "Don't panic."

Playing my penultimate song on the radio. I'm going to miss Doom and Cookies. The song is "Bringing the Body Back Home," by the Real Tuesday Weld.

How come in the X-Files, the entire country is a five-minute drive from Washington, D.C.?

Ah, the stale scent of alcohol and tobacco: The smell of a coworker.

They put me in training at 9pm when I'm only dialing till 10pm. GLORIOUS.

Doing my last episode of Doom and Cookies tomorrow. Calling it The Omega Protocol.

I wonder if all workplaces with high turnover are like this; always new people, but always the same TYPE of people.

I was about to get dinner on during my break at work; then I realized it looked like a natural disaster movie outside.

"If you like Ruffie-Coladas...and passing out in the rain."

Jack Black?!

Metroid Other M: AKA Bounty Hunter Mama

"There are no stupid questions, just stupid answer" - Fortune Cookie slip I just found in my wallet.

"How did the tiger get all the way across town without being spotted?" "Because it was striped!"

In the minutes of a demon-worshipping school board meeting: "Next, we need more promotion of abstinence-only sex education." "Wait, what?" "Reverse psychology, Ed."

Aaaaaand Ariane and I both get sick. At least it waited until my finals were over.

Why does this shit always happen during finals week?