[Mark sits at a cubicle with a computer in front of him, wearing a headset. He's in a t-shirt with a popular video game logo on it, such as a "For the Horde!" shirt. He's bored. A soft "dialing" tone plays in the background]
[A click signifies a pickup on the other end. Mark sits up a little]
Mark: Hello, my name is Mark. I'm a research associate with TSCH, a national research firm. We're conducting a survey with people in your area on behalf of the Department of Health. Could I please speak with a resident of the household 18 years of age or older.
[Cut to a man in his mid forties, sitting in a recliner with a bowl of chips and a bottle of beer, holding a telephone. He's angry.]
Man: Are you a telemarketer?
Mark [On phone]: No, sir. I'm a research associate. I'm not trying to sell you anything.
Man: I'm on the "DO-NOT-CALL" list.
Mark: [rushing] Sir, the "Do-not-call" list applies to telemarketers, people trying to sell you things. We're -
Man [interrupting]: Well, FUCK you! [slams phone down]
[Cheerful, bouncy music begins in the background]
(A montage of Mark at work, calling people)
Mark: Hello, my name is Mark. I'm a-
[click, he's hung up on]
Mark: research...
-
Mark: [frustrated] The Department of Health. Yes, the Department of Health. I can provide you with a confirmation [click] number...
-
Mark: TSCH - it stands for the letters of the last names of our founders. [listens] What? [listens] They've got very long last names...um... Travinisky? Tarivish? Tarinvinsk?
-
Mark: Can I speak with an adult 18 years of age or older?
Old woman [on phone]: But I'm 76.
Mark: So...you're older than 18?
Old woman: No, I'm 76. I don't work for the Department of Health.
Mark: I know, ma'am, I'm calling on behalf of the Department of Health.
Old woman: Who is this?
Mark: [exasperated] My name is Mark, and I'm calling on behalf of -
Old woman: Well, Matthew, I think you should know, I'm a 76 year old woman with 4 grandchildren and 5 cats and I just don't approve of this.
Mark: Well, ma'am -
Old woman: Goodbye, John [click].
-
Mark: Hello, my name is [click] -
-
Mark: Hello, my name is Mark. I'm [click] -
-
Mark: Hello, my name is Mark. I'm calling -
Woman's voice: [like an answering machine] I'm sorry, no one is available to take your [sneeze].
Mark: [confused] Ma'am?
Woman: Oh, shit [click].
-
Mark: Hi, my name is Mark, and I'm calling on -
Man: Mark, you said?
Mark: Yes, sir.
Man: Mark, can you see me right now?
Mark: No, sir. All our numbers are randomly generated by computer. All know about you is your phone number.
Man: Mark, I really with your could see me right now.
[Mark pauses uncomfortably]
Man: Because I'm flipping you off [click].
-
Woman: ...but I don't know if I should count my daughter as a resident, because she goes to college.
Man: Does she live in the household?
Woman: Well, yes, but she drives to the community college down the street.
Mark: But she lives in the household?
Woman: Yes, but she's a very independent woman.
-
Mark: Hello, my name is Mark. I'm calling on behalf of the Department of Health -
Man: Is this in regards to the deceased?
Mark: Um...we're just trying to speak with a resident of the household.
Man: Is this in regards to the deceased? the body should have been removed hours ago.
-
Mark: Hello, my name is Mark. I'm calling on behalf of the Department of Health.
Woman: [furious] Listen, stop calling, leave me alone, take my number off your list -
Mark: Ma'am, we don't have a "list," all of our numbers are randomly generated by -
Woman: I don't CARE how you got my number! Stop calling me! Stop calling me! STOP CALLING ME [click]!
[Mark begins typing on the computer, sighing and shaking his head]
[click]
Same woman: Hello, who is this?
Mark: Still me, ma'am.
Woman: [politely] Oh. goodnight.
Mark: You too, ma'am [click].
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